


Garden Dancing

by NightCourtStarLight



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-04-18 01:29:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14202066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightCourtStarLight/pseuds/NightCourtStarLight
Summary: Elain Archeon is finally ready to stand on her own in her new life in Velaris. Things should be interesting as she realizes a certain Shadow Singer lives nearby and will be popping up. But what are friends for? With ever visit elain realizes that maybe... maybe she doesn't want Azriel as just a friend anymore.All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas.





	1. Chapter 1

Autumn was on the brink in the night court. The leaves were painted vibrant colors and crisp breezes swept through the street. The street vendors stopped selling their usually ice creams and lemonade and opted for Carmel apples and warm ciders or chocolates.  
It was wonderful.  
It had started when she had told Feyre one day that she wanted to be more independent. She loved her sisters and their mates with all her heart years after the war, but she sometimes felt she was coddled by them too much. She was strong. And fierce. She had proved as much in the war. It was time for her to take charge.  
She hated to admit though… she was a bit nervous. What if something happened and she was alone or she needed help. It’s silly though she thought, my family is mere streets away, and the people of velaris were rather kind. Someone might help her in a pinch. And if not she could- would handle it herself.  
Easier said than done. 

 

With feyres help, I had purchased a small townhome near the market by the beach. The closets member of the circle to me was Azriel, but with his random missions and secrecy, I wasn’t sure if he would be home much.  
On the morning I moved in I was ecstatic! I had so many decorating ideas! Flowers and mirrors and marble counters! It’s wonderful.  
I took Feyre by the arm and we swept through the apartment. Throwing open the windows and peering through ever door. 

“ Feyre isn’t it wonderful. Can’t you see it!” I said tugging yellow curtains out of a chest I brought with me. 

“ Of course! I’m so happy for you. ” she came over and clasped my hands. Down in the street, the bell rang 10 times. “ I have to go love, Rhys and I are having brunch. But I’ll be back around 7 for dinner. And then she was gone in a puff of smoke and shadows.  
I could never grasp the winnowing ability myself.  
For the rest of the day, I was stringing yellow curtains and laying out grey and green rugs. Placing mugs in the cupboards. New lamp shades and shelves and laying out my lavender and white bedspread.  
I never knew I’d like decoration so much. By the end of the day, I was well on my way to being done.  
When I looked out the window again the moon was rising over the ocean. The night was filled with stars of every color. You could see the whole universe from here.  
My feet carried me out the door and on to my front porch. I could look at them forever. And never see the same picture twice.  
I hadn’t noticed Azriel until I finally turned my eyes from the sky and met his piercing hazel ones.  
I yelped and jumped back, knocking over a flower pot.

” Az what are you doing? Don’t sneak up on me like that!“ I hissed placing a hand over my rapidly beating heart. 

” I was just - uh - I “ he looked flustered, which was an expression I very rarely saw on him. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, it was then I noticed he carried a small wrapped box in his hands. I smiled up at him

” A gift?“ I was grinning now

” Yes, “ he awkwardly shoved the box at me and clasped his hands behind his back. 

” Thank you, Azriel" I beamed up at him, heart studdering as the corner of his lip tugs upward. “ what’s the occasion?”

“ Housewarming, ” he said with a flourish to the door and a small smile. 

“ Well thank you, would you like a tour?” I said as I lead the way through the front door and into the house. I heard his near silent footfalls trail in behind me and allowed myself another small smile.  
Its been 2 years since the war and we are all still healing at different rates. Nesta still won’t get near a tub. I can’t eat red meat at all because of the blood. Cassian gets extremely agitated if there is ash in the fireplace or lots of dust anywhere. I’m not sure to what lengths Feyre and Rhysand are traumatized. I didn’t see everything they saw. Az is as calm and stoic as ever. Never showing emotion. Or feeling.  
“ You are frowning.” Az voice floated up next to me pulling me out of my ravine. My arms were wrapped tightly around me in a hug. I get lost in thought a lot like that. Some people call me distracted and dazed.  
“ Sorry, ” I murmur and try to turn away but his hand finds my elbow and stops me  
“ It’s ok ” he whispered in his deep voice.  
I lead him to the living room and point out the little trinkets I have. like the owl sculpture made of wood, I got from the old manor in the human world. My father had made it. Or the colorful throw pillows. As we walk I notice the blue pearls I have under a glass lid on the self in the living room. My face burns as Az studies the three gems. Oh, gods why did I put those out. I had brought them because they felt so familiar to me. And now I understand why. They match his siphons. He turns back to me with a neutral expression on his face, but his eyes are twinkling with mischief  
“ These are quite lovely, ” he says

“ Thanks, I uh just got them. Ok moving on”

I grab his arm and pull him up the stairs.  
“ This is the upstairs ” I mumbled lamely. Gods, why. 

Ever since Az had given me truthteller and his kind quiet friendship something has changed for me. 

It was stupid, I’m no better than a schoolgirl with a crush. But when he comes around I just get flustered and fidgety. But once that passes we slip into our current dynamic. Comfortable silence, quiet chatter, working side by side on a project, eating lunch. It’s just a nice friendship.  
Friendship… or could it be more.  
No, I think as I glance at him while he studies one of the paintings Feyre made I hung. It was of a cool calm lake in the forest she told me she visited. It couldn’t ever be anything more. He may not love Mor anymore but I highly doubt he could love me.  
People call me crazy… delusional. Especially the people of the court if nightmares. I can’t help the visions. So I shouldn’t be judged by them.  
Az had finished studying the painting and he turned back to me, studying me with a calculated gaze. I gave him a small smile, hoping that he would understand I don’t want to talk about it.  
I wandered over to my bed and flicked the light on. 

“ Should I open it now?” I asked him while pulling the gift into my lap and folding my legs under me

“ If you want to,” he said down a respectable distance from me.  
The wrapping was crisp and precise and white with a blue bow 

“ Aw, Az did you wrap this?” I grinned up at him. He’s so much taller than me even sitting down. 

“ Yes...” he sighed with a small smile on his lips and a hand tuning through his fluffy hair. 

“ It’s lovely ” 

I pulled the bow loose and tire back the paper. Inside was a small brown crate with 6 small succulents in little black pots.  
“ Oh, my gods Azriel. These are so cute! Thank you ” I jump up and start placing them immediately. One on my nightstand. One on the window sill. Another on my dresser. I’m dancing around the room in a flurry while Azriel watches from the bed with an amused small smile. 

“ What are you laughing at? ” I quip at him. 

“ Oh nothing, just you dancing over succulents ” 

“ Oh haha, Mr. Shadow singer, you’re telling me you wouldn’t dance around a training mat over a new pair of knives?” I giggle as he rises and takes me by the elbow leading me to the stairs. 

“ No. I would honor the knives by beating whoever is on the mat with me” he was grinning now too. 

“ I’m calling your bluff,” I said turning back to him with a laugh. We were so close now out chest we’re almost pressed together. 

“ Oh?” He let out a low chuckle

“ I bet you would do a dance for a new set of blades. ” 

“ Not likely sunshine ” 

Sunshine… he’s never called me that before. The air between us grew tight and electrical. His eyes bore into mine. Deep and endless and swirling between green and brown with a hint of blue. It was like looking at the earth in his eyes.  
Was he leaning closer to me? Was I to him. Like two magnets wanting to cling together. He places his hand gingerly on my waist at a respectful place. Always respectful. Always kind and gentle. Always himself  
And there in the quiet, candlelit hallway, with Azriels hand on my waist pulling me ever so impossibly closer  
Close enough for a kiss.  
A banging on the door tore the moment apart. I sprung away from him as if caught in the act of stealing. He looked away, cheeks tinged pink and bashful. Gods he is adorable. 

“ I should uh ”

“ Yea ”  
I scurried down the stairs quickly and threw open the door 

“ Feyre!” I spoke too loudly “ What are you doing here?”

“ You promised me dinner remember,” she said with a wink. I was still blocking the doorway which made her eye me suspiciously. 

“ What were you doing?..” she narrowed her eyes at me slightly and cocked her head taking a sniff of me.  
Oh no. I pushed her out of the doorway and slammed it shut just as her eyes widened. 

“ Is az here?” She was grinning wickedly now, “All alone with you in your new house? How scandalous my dear sister” she quipped in a sultry voice. 

“ No no no it’s not like that. We were just talking. And plus it’s none of your business’s what we do behind closed doors”

“ I’d assume each other but that’s none of my business” she winked and stuck her tongue out at me. Gods my face is no fire now. As she sauntered off she called over her shoulder. “ don’t stay up too late you crazy kids!” 

I growled at that under my breath and slipped back inside. Az was now lounging on the white sofa with his hands tucked behind his head. 

“ Please tell me you didn’t hear any of that ” 

“ I didn’t hear anything Elain ” 

He was lying. I doubt anyone in the world could ever tell if the Spymaster of the night court was lying. He told me that he has only lied to Rhys and Cassian when absolutely necessary. Which hasn’t been often? But somehow I always knew when he lied. I think this may be the second time he’s lied to me. And both times have been to save me from mortification.  
It didn’t help though. I was still mortified. I placed my hand on my burning face. 

“ Gods. I’m so embar-"

” Would you like to have dinner with me?“ 

” What..“

He was sitting up straight now staring at me. 

” I … yes, that would be great, yes"

“ Great, ” we sat there grinning at each other for a moment before I fumbled to reach for my cloak and pulled it on. He opened the door for me and we were off into the night of Velaris.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elain makes Azriel an offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry this is so late. School has been kicking my ass, but the year is ending next week and with my Best friends help, I was able to put this together. I don't know how good it is but its uh... its something. anyways enjoy!

I listened as Feyre laughed brightly at something Cassian said. Rhys sat next to her, an arm draped around the back of the chair. They were the epitome of happiness, it radiated and glowed in the midday sun.

We were all gathered in the backyard of the new manor. Nesta and Cassian chatted quietly now. You could see what their conversation was about even if you couldn't hear the words telling by the way Cassian's lips brushed her ear ever so slightly and a red blush rose on nestas cheeks. I took note of how their fingers were tightly intertwined as they went back and forth in their discussion. 

I sighed and looked away. So this was it. I'd finally become the third wheel. Not even Mor of Amren could keep me entertained, for they had gone to the summer court to see Varian. Who would have thought Amren would fall in love, though the last time one of us had pointed it out she promised to rip out our tongues. I shivered at the thought. Varian deserves a medal for being brave enough to pursue her. 

Since both of my sisters had long forgotten about the conversation we were having I decided id take a walk through the very large garden. I discreetly stood and made my way to the rose garden. The sun streamed through the leaves of the tree overhead and warmed my skin. I let my fingers flutter over the soft rose petals as I wandered, lost in thought.

I wonder where Azriel is. Perhaps he was on a mission. Now that I think about it I haven't seen him in a few days. I hope he's ok. I chuckle to myself. That's silly, of course, he's fine. He's the shadow singer. SpyMaster of the night court. 

I pluck a flower off of the bush and behind picking off the petals. 

I wonder if he's eaten yet.

Just then I feel my muscles coil and tighten. My vision changes from me looking at the rose hudge to light filtering through wings and powder on a marble surface. 

Just as quickly as it comes, I'm thrown back into reality. The flower drops out of my hand as I slump back on the bench. My head pounds with a dull ache. 

I don't even notice the shadows around me grow and stretch as I rub at my eyes, willing myself to make sense of the scene that just unfolded. Suddenly something starts blocking the sun. I look up, dazed, to see Azriel towering over me. 

His arms were crossed and his wings were stretched out wide, blocking the sun. 

My vision… I thought as I watched the sunlight illuminate every vain and tendon. Azriels eyes flicked over me from head to toe

“Are you ok, Elain?” Az unfolded his arms and slid onto the bench next to me. I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder. One arm came up to brush the hair out of my face while the other pulled me closer to him. 

“It was a vision,” I murmured, letting his cool rainy forest scent soothe me. 

“What about?” his fingers rubbed mall circles on my back. 

"I saw wings, and I think-” I sighed feeling another dull throb pound through my head. At least it's getting better “ I think they were yours,”

“I see,” Az mumbled.

“How did you now?” 

“My shadows tell me things. I like to keep tabs on important things and people,” Hi voice was smooth and deep as silk. 

“I’m important?”

“Of course. Your my high lady’s sister,” 

I tried not to feel the stab of pain in my heart at that. I wish he saw me as someone more than just the High Lady's sister because I see him as so much more than just the Spymaster of the night court. 

“And you're my friend,” Warmth spread through my body at that. If friendship was all he was willing to give then I would take it, and cherish it for as long as I am able to. 

“Where were you?” I asked

“So many questions today Love,”

“Well, you left me to sit between Feyre and Rhys blatant touching and Cassian and Nestas sexual tension,”   
I was delightfully rewarded with a deep chuckle.

“I was meeting with some of my operatives,”

“I forgot you have your own people that work with you,”

“Good, that's the point,” he quipped. I could hear the amusement in his voice

I whacked him on the chest “ Hey!” I squeaked. I couldn't help but smile though, he was just so charming.

“You're probably hungry, let's go find you something to eat,” He stood and pulled me to my feet. I looped my arm through him as he leads us through the garden. The sun was now lower in the sky. Sunset was probably only a few hours away. I listened to the bumbling rush of the Sidra as we walked. Honestly, I was surprised it didn’t cut right through the garden. 

I peeked up at Azriel, taking note of his relaxed expression. Usually, he always had a slight frown on his full plump lips, but today he looked at ease. 

“You’re staring," he chuckled 

“ Am not! I-I just noticed how peaceful you look,” I trailed off, praying he wouldn’t see the blush on my cheeks. 

“You’re very easy to be around,” 

“Thank you. You are too,” 

We finally made it out of the rose grove and swiftly walked past the couples. 

“I might blind myself if I have to see their touching one more time," Azriel muttered so low I almost didn’t catch it. I laughed and bumped my shoulder into his. 

“Az!”

I swear a tinge of red color his cheeks, but he merely shrugged as we slipped into the kitchen. 

Az walked over to the pantry and pulled the doors open wide. I heard him rummaging as I came to stand by the sink. 

“What do you want to eat?” he asked 

“Perhaps we can make summer corn chowder. I know Nuala just bought fresh tomatoes.” 

“That sounds lovely,” 

We began gathering ingredients. Az found spices while I gathered corn, tomatoes and other things to make the soup. We made quick work of putting the ingredients together. I watched, spellbound, as he chops the vegetables. The way the knife glides in his hands with ease. The flex of his wrist and furrow of his brow as he concentrates. My cheeks catch on fire as his gaze flickers up to mine and lingers for a moment before dropping back down to the counter. Luckily he doesn’t say anything, but a small smirk does play on his lips. 

I hum and turn back to the stove. The soup bubbles and releases a heavenly scent as I slowly stir it. I feel my stomach rumble and idly think that I hadn't realized how hungry I was. When was the last time I ate today anyway? I had a pastry and tea with Nula this morning. She had come over for brunch and I was slightly surprised Cerridwen wasn't with her. "Duty calls" was all Nuala offered when I had asked. I took that as a sign not to push. Perhaps it was a mission for Azriel, and best to know less about it. 

I startled out of my thoughts as Azriel reaches his long, solid arms around me to dump the chopped peppers and tomatoes into the pot. His scent wraps around me and I bite my cheek to keep from breathing it in. Azriel moves away and comes to lean against the counter, popping a chunk of tomato in his mouth as he does so. 

“When's the last time you ate today Azriel?” I stammered, reaching for anything to fill the silence. Usually, I had no problem sitting in that comfortable silence with Azriel. It was always a kind of content comfort with him, to just know that you didn't need to continuously fill the gaps in conversation. That it was ok to just… drift. 

But with the way Azriel had his curious inquisitive face on, ( it all showed in his swirling hazel eyes), I found myself a bit more nervous to just let him blurt out whatever he was bound to say. This had been the first thing that came to my mind.  
He considered it for a moment, chewing on a piece of pepper thoughtfully this time before saying. “ I had an apple for breakfast” 

“An apple? That’s it?” I frowned a turned to him. I should have suspected, with the way he had to think about it. He merely nodded and started munching on an apple that was in a fruit bowl on the counter. That also explains the snacking. “Az you need to eat more than just an apple! Look at you, you’re as big as a barn!” 

Another smirk played on his lips as I reprimanded “Stop snacking Az. You'll ruin your appetite!” he released an easy chuckle and finished off the apple, chucking the core in the compost bin. I sighed and turned back to the soup. It was nearly done thankfully. I gave it a few turns as I asked: “Why don’t you eat often Azriel?” 

“I eat often,” 

I laminated a stare at him. He bit his lip and mumbled, “Ok maybe not as much as I should but I do...”

“Why?”

“Cassian used to do the cooking, but he stopped because I'm too picky of an eater. I've been managing though,” He looked so bashful as he said it. I willed a wall of ice to form over my heart like Nesta. Az is my friend and nothing more, but despite my best efforts, his sincere shyness seemed to melt through it anyway. 

“Hmm,” I hummed and walked over to the cabinet where the bowls were kept. I flick open the door and just as I start reaching up on the tips of my toes, Az’s shadow laced hand reaches up and grabbed the bowls. 

“Thanks,” I smile up at him, but try not to linger. After moving back to the stove I quickly pour him a bowl of soup and slice off a piece of bread to go along with it.

I set it on the counter and push it towards him “Eat Azriel,” I say.   
His eyes flicker from my face to the bowl, back to my face, back to the bowl again before he slowly picked up the spoon and took a bite. 

Satisfied, Elain got to work making sandwiches to go with the soup. No one can just have soup for lunch and not grow hungry within the hour, she thought as she sliced another tomato. She then pulled sliced turkey breast and cheese from the icebox and bread from the bread box.

“How do you like your sandwich?” she asked

“You don't have to, I’m pic-,”

“It's really no problem Az," She interrupted smoothly. 

Azriel pressed his lips together into a hard line before he sighed and murmured a few directions. “Can you put mayo on one slice of bread and Mustard on the other?” Elain beamed and started spreading the condiments. Then he spoke “Two lettuce leaves on the mayo side please and then a thick slice of tomato,”   
Elain felt her lips quirk as he ground out his order as if asking for a simple sandwich made the way he likes it brings him physical pain. He then bashfully instructed her to put a healthy slice of cheddar on top of the tomato. 

When Az’s uncomfortable shuffling finally fell silent she looked up just as she was about to put a slice of turkey on to top it off.

“Anything else Az?” she asked. She watched, bemused as he gnawed on his bottom lip, yes actually chewing it off, before he sighed and said “I actually prefer ham,” 

“ Ok, that's fine!” Elain trilled as she walked over to the ice box and swapped the turkey for sliced ham. Now that she thought about it, she probably should have asked what meat Azriel wanted in the first place instead of just grabbing turkey. 

Elain finally returned to the counter and finished assembling the sandwich. She put it on a plate and added another bowl of soup just to be safe and slid it across the counter. Az looked down at the plate and then back up. 

“Az! Stop looking guilty and just eat it before I do!” A small smile flickered across his face and his shoulder relaxed an inch as he finally took a bite of the sandwich. He released a low hum that for a moment sounded like something… very different... His eye flickered shut for a moment and he finished chewed and swallowed. In no time Elain assembled her own and took up a spot next to Azriel. When they finally flickered back open his gaze locked with her own. 

“Good?” 

“Perfect!” and the smile he had on his face could have lit up any darkness. The night sky its self. 

Then we ate in silence for a few moments. Azriel ate his sandwich in record time. There wasn't a crumb left. By the time I had finished my own he was polishing off his second bowl of soup. 

“Az eating is important, everyone needs to do it, Fae or not,” 

“I know,”

"I could”I trailed off, gathering my courage," I could help you. I wouldn't mind making your lunch or breakfast,” I peeked at him from the corner of my eye and saw he was staring at me with a look I couldn't place. Wonder, confusion, curiosity? 

“I couldn't ask that of you Elain,” 

“You don't have to. It would make me feel better to know you're eating right,” 

“You really don't have to-,”

“Az,” I drawled as he scooped up our empty bowls and plates and put them in the sink 

He sighed and turned back to face me. His eyes were bright but his bottom lip was caught between his white teeth. “If you feel you must you can, but just remember I don't expect you to make my meals. I can take care of myself Elain,” 

“I know that,” I said gently and came to stand next to him by the sink. I picked up a towel and began drying the dishes he had washed. We finished in silence and I passed him the towel to dry his hands on. His hair fell into his eyes as he swiped the cloth over his intricately scared hands. I heart speed up as I gazed at him. He was by far the most handsome male I'd ever seen, from his scars to his cool indifferent looks. My heart started to pound as I leaned up on the tips of my toes and pressed a butterfly's kiss to his tan cheek. 

“It's my pleasure Azriel, thank you for allowing me to help you like how you help me every day,” I whispered. He was still as stone as I stepped away and walked out of the kitchen. My cheeks burned as I grabbed my cloak and swung it over my shoulders, eager to leave before my legs gave out. 

It's ok, I thought. Friends are allowed to gives kisses on the cheek. It wasn't like it was long. Merely a brush of the lips! A show of endearment.  
Why was her heart beating like a hummingbird's wings then? 

 

Az was frozen by the sink, where Elain had left him. The sensation of her lips pressed against his skin still ghosted his cheek with warmth. His hands balled into fists and he struggled to regain my thoughts. 

Elain is my friend. It was a friendly kiss on the cheek, and nothing more. It would be improper to of him to think of it as anything more than that. And worst for him to think of it for longer than this moment, Azriel thought as he started putting the dishes away. 

Yes, he would just forget about it. It was safer that way. Elain was his kind and noble friend. 

Yet... he couldn't help but wish there could be something more...  
No! He shook his head at that and kicked a cabinet closed. Elain had a mate and... he was ... he was him. Scared and bruised and broken with too many years trapped in darkness. How could he ever put that on Elain? shed already been through so much and didn't deserve to be weighed down with him. 

He should just be content with the fact that she allowed him to be her friend, he thought with dismay.

Azriel had just finished putting away the dished when Rhysand and Cassian barged into the kitchen with a loud clatter. 

"This is why we can't have nice things in this house," Azriel sighed and walked over to righting the picture frame they had knocked over. 

"Why are you brooding Az? It's not even 5 o'clock yet, too early for brooding," Cassian quipped as he went to the icebox. He was obviously drunk as a sailor. 

"Why are you Drunk Cassian? It's not even 5 o'clock," Azriel ground out, throwing the words back into his face. His shadows swirled around him as his mood worsened. I wasn't in the mood to deal with his drunk, idiot brothers. 

Rhys and Cassian shared a look before Rhysand murmured into his cup "Is it Elain?" 

Azriel ground his teeth together, feeling his wings flare a bit at the mention of the exact subject of his thoughts. "No" 

"Right," Cassian said, who had returned from the icebox with a new bottle of wine. " Try not to brood too much az, she's crazy about you,"He said and disappeared out the door with Rhys following behind. 

Azriel heaved and aggravated sigh before flexing his wings and disappearing into the shadows, eager to get away from his annoyingly intrusive brothers. 

_Elain_

The next morning I awoke a bit earlier than usual and got dressed. Azriel is probably already awake, I thought as I looked through my cabinets for something suitable to make. After a bit of contemplation and a large mug of blueberry green tea, I decided on a classic that I knew Azriel liked. On the odd occasion that we all had breakfast together like after Starfall or on Feyre’s birthday, he would order 3 fried eggs, toast, and fried ham. 

Getting to Azreils house was simple enough. He had told me the address the night he had taken me out for dinner. I strode up to his dark wood front door with my cloth covered basket and knocked. 

There was silence for a moment before footsteps pounded towards the door and it swung open on silent hinges. 

Azriel filled the entire threshold, dressed in a grey training tunic and leather training pants. His hair fell into his eyes, still wet from a shower. I hadn't realized I was starting until he blinked at me and ushered me inside with a soft come in. 

“Just get done training?” 

“Yes but I,” he rubbed the back of his neck “I hadn't expected you so soon,”

His house was minimally but nicely decorated. The walls were a pale grey and he had a painting probably made by Feyre of a cliff overlooking an ocean on the far wall. He had a couch and two white chars over an eggshell white rug. It was lovely. 

“You must be hungry,” I said and turned back to him. His lips quirked in the lightest of smiles 

“A bit,” he took the basket from me and started walking towards the kitchen. When he saw I hadn't followed he turned back to me with a curious look.

“Oh uh, I really should be going. I was just going to drop it off-,” 

In two stride he was in front of me again. His beautify hand gently circled my wrist and pulled me forward. “Eat with me Elain, please. I wouldn't feel right just taking it,” 

My stubborn front crumbled like a cracker and I finally allowed him to lead me to the kitchen. It was also simple, with grey-black marble countertops and white cabinets. He pulled out my chair for me to sit and began unpacking the food. He then grabbed some plates and forks. 

We ate in near silence, only parted but the occasional question I asked or he asked. It was a comfortable silence that I could only share with Azriel. 

We were washing the dishes together when a clock’s bell somewhere in the house struck out noon. 

“Oh, it’s late! I’m sorry Az I have to go. Nesta wants me to go with her to the Library under the House of Wind,” I folded the navy towel I was holding and placed it by the sink. Azriel nodded and lead me back to the front door with a hand on the small of my back “I had a lovely time with you, but I always do,” I said with a wink as I pulled my cloak over my shoulders. Azriel leaned against the door frame with a content smile. 

“As did I and the food was delicious by the way,” 

“Thank you,” I smiled at him, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks. I cursed myself on the inside, stop blushing every time Azriel pays you a compliment! Azriel opened his mouth to say something and then closed it. He rightened himself and rubbed the back of his neck, letting his mouth open and close with unsaid words again. 

Eventually, he settled on “Goodbye Elain,” 

I felt myself deflate with that. What had he been trying to say? I nodded and let my eyes drop to look at the basket in my hands. “Goodbye Azriel,” I said with a small smile and finally swept down the stone path and out into the noonday sun.


	3. Elain Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elain is left alone with her thoughts.

The sound of rain still pounded against the back of Elain’s mind as she was chased from her slumber by the vision masked as a dream. 

A storm was coming. 

She huffed a sigh as she dragged herself out of bed and began to dress for the day. It seems pants might be a better option for today. Rain makes dresses heavier. Better to get started with her chores sooner rather than later, she thought. 

She made her way down the stairs, fingers briefly dancing across the many indoor plants she kept as she walked by. Elain began to think about the long list of chores she needed to do. Back when she lived in the mortal realm, servants, maids and farm hands always took care of the mundane chores. She’d never even touched a washboard; even after her father had lost his fortune, she had never been stuck with many chores. When they were poor she left them all to Feyre. 

The thought still made her gut clench in guilt. Though Feyre has said on many occasions that all was forgiven, Elain couldn’t help feel that twinge of guilt at how idle she’d been. Content with knowing Feyre would either come back with a successful kill for them to eat, or for them to starve another night. 

It had never even dawned on her to ask Feyre for vegetable seed packets. It had never crossed her mind that with her green thumb she could grow enough food for them to not have to starve every night. 

How selfish she had been. So preoccupied with her own comfort that she couldn’t see how much strain she and Nesta were putting on their youngest sister. 

Now, Elain pushes the dark thoughts laced with guilt and remorse to the back of her mind. Ever since she moved out of Feyre and Rhy’s townhouse, she’s realized keeping up a home is quite a bit of work. There’s Laundry and sweeping to do. Not to mention washing dishes and carrying for her garden. 

Feyre had asked if she would hire a maid or butler, but Elain had turned down the offer. It was time she truly became independent. It was time she learned how to actually care for herself. 

Usually, Azriel would help her a bit or stop by just to have a quick chat, but he’s been gone for a week now. Another riot started in the Illiryan steeps and the bat brothers, as Nesta so affectionately calls them, went to dismantle it. 

So Elain was once again left alone with her thoughts. 

The first thing she decided to do, was the dishes from her supper last night. Summer squash soup and wild rice. It didn’t take her long, and she soon found herself sweeping the dust and grass from her back porch. 

On the horizon, she noticed, were a thick band of dark storm clouds circling the city. 

Yes, it would be a bad storm indeed. She sighed and propped her broom up against the side of the house before going inside with thoughts of a glass of water on her mind. 

It wasn't until she passed the ash and soot-filled fireplace on the way to the kitchen did she notice the pitiful lonely log left in the basket. 

Drat, she’d need to chop more firewood. There’s no way she could last the storm and keep warm on one log of wood. 

Not to mention that she would definitely need to clean out the pit later. She just tacked that thought onto the long chore list in the back of her head. But this was in need of immediate attention. 

After gulping down a glass of water Elain marched back outside and surveyed her surroundings. Nothing but bare, empty flower beds and a small tool shed, she thought with a grimace. Since when did she neglect such fantastic garden potential this long?

Since a certain shadow singer started popping up 

She shooed the pesky thought away. No use in thinking such things. They will only bring complications. 

Elain made her way to the shed and pushed the rusted door open. The smell of musky old wood and moss settled around her like a shaw, reminding her of Az- 

She shut the thought up like she slammed the shed door behind her, arms laden with a heavy ax and gloves. Earlier that week, Cassian had dropped off two tree trunk slices readily to be split into smaller, burnable, logs. 

Easy enough Elain thought. all she had to do was split one. That would give her plenty of wood to cook with and keep her warm through the night. As she prepared herself to begin chopping, pulling on gloves and figuring out how to grip the ax, her thoughts slowly drifted back to the shadow singer of the Night court. 

Mother, she thought. It would be wise for her not to think of him so much. Az was such a dear friend. He’s always been her rock since she was brought to the Faerie realm. So her crush would do nothing but ruin things…

Right? 

As the chilly Autumn wind swept by and flung a hand full of leaves from the lemon tree overhead, Elain gripped her ax and brought it up above her head. With a grunt she brought it down and heard a satisfying thump. 

When she opened her eyes she realized that thump was the sound of the ax getting wedged in the lush green earth. Shed completely missed the log. With a sigh and a lot of tugging, she ripped the ax head from the round. Clumps of dark brown dirt fell from its sharp edges like leaves from the lemon tree overhead. 

Ok, let’s try this again. 

She heaved the ax over her head once again and brought it down with all her strength on the wood. It just skimmed the log. A pitiful twig peeling off. 

Elain sighed. At this rate, she's going to freeze to death and have cold stew for dinner. She took another deep breath. No matter, she thought. I’ll get it soon enough if I keep trying.

Half an hour and 5 attempts later, Elain had managed to butcher half the trunk into 5 pieces of wood. Alas, she hadn’t managed to squelch the murmurs in her head. Somehow her mind always managed to wander back towards a certain shadow singer. She wondered how his mission was going. Was it dangerous or benign? Was it cold where he was? Is he warm enough?

Calderon, she was worrying like a mother hen. He’s more than capable to handle himself.

With a huff, Elain gathered all the longs in her arms and carried them inside. Thank the cauldron her enhanced strength, or else she'd have to carry them in one at a time. She paused at that thought. Shed never exactly viewed her being turned Fea a good thing before. Had she come to terms with it in the years since the war? Yes, slowly but surely. With the help of Azriel who offered her quiet friendship. 

The rest of her family helped too, Feyre, Cassian, Mor. They all healed together. Except for Nesta, who had gone to Illyria. To this day, Elain wasn't completely sure why Feyre had sent Nesta away to the camps. Nesta had just needed more time to heal, more patients. 

Though Nesta had said some… harsh things to her in her despair, Elain never gave up hope that her sister could recover one day. After she had gone to the camps with Cassian she came back the same… but different. Her destructive habits were gone, but the way she held herself had changed. She walked tall and proud. She was still her classic barbed self but… as soft as she could be. Not to mention that she claimed Cassian as her mate sometime over the year they were away. 

Elain had called it. Mor and Rhys owned her 40 gold pieces. 

When Nesta had come home she had greeted Elain with a long tight hug, but then regarded Feyre with cool indifference. They had gone into the study and talked well into the night, but no one knew what was said. Feyre wouldn't even tell Rhys, or if she did, he didn't let on. No one could get Nest to say anything she didn't want to, so no one tried with her. 

But after she and Feyre had that conversation, things between the sisters got better. Not overnight, but now they had lunch together regularly, and even had a mental bond. Elain ideally brushed her land over the three crossed swords tattooed on her left wrist. One was engraved with flames, another with stars, and the last with flower petals. It was a lovely bargain. One that promised to always be there for one another if something happened. 

Elain was delighted when they made it. To finally have her sisters back together, and really together! It was something Elain had never dare dreamed could be real. 

The whole circle was doing better now. Not 100% better, perhaps never again, but things didn't hurt as much as they did right after the war. Elain was proud at how far they'd all come. 

Elain was startled from her thoughts as thunder clapped outside, sending lightning crackling across the sky in white veins. It was only then that Elain realized she was still clutching the wood to her chest and standing by the fireplace. 

She blinked as she set some wood in the fireplace, and the rest in the basket. How much time had gone by? When she looked out the window she saw nothing but dark storm clouds and stone. 

Her limbs felt like they were made of paper and filled with sand as she slumped onto the couch. Why did it feel as though she’d had a vision? Memories don't usually make her feel this fatigue. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact she hadn't eaten all day and was doing laborious activities, she concluded. 

She just needed to rest...just for...five minutes…

Elain woke with a start a few hours later to the sound of crackling flames. For a moment, anxiety overwhelmed her because her first thought was that her house was burning down, of all things. When Elain blinked her eyes open she instantly relaxed as she beheld the fire crackling merrily in the fireplace. 

Wait… She hadn't started a fire before shed dozed off...right? 

She couldn't find it in herself to think too hard on it. She needed to eat before she fell asleep and never woke up again.  
With that, Elain stood and wandered into the kitchen. The scent of rosemary was the first thing she noticed as she walked in. Her eyes widened as she beheld the simmering pot of soup on the stove. In two quick steps, she was at the stove and peering into the bubbling pot. 

Now she may be a bit fatigued, but she definitely would have remembered making dinner. Could someone have broken in? Elain thought as she turned around to face the back door. No no. She would have heard something. And why break in and instead of stealing or harming her, make dinner? 

A noise sounded from above making Elain jump. Her heart pounded in her chest as she turned back towards the living room. It came from upstairs. 

Cauldron she wished Azriel were here to help her. He would just send his shadows up the stairs to see what’s happening for him. Not that an intruder would have even made it past him. 

No matter, Elain had had a bit of training after the war. She could defend herself, for at least long enough to get away if things went arie. 

Elain quietly moved deeper into the kitchen until she could reach the knife draw. Careful not to jostle the draw, she quietly pulled out a knife and made her way up the stairs. Each creek and noise the steps made on her ascent sent Elain's teeth on end, but the only thing to do was to continue. 

When Elain finally made it to the landing she noticed her bedroom door was slightly ajar. Light filtered out of it and stretched down the hall. She took a deep breath and closed the distance between herself and the door. For a moment, she stopped and listened just beyond the threshold. 

Nothing.

Ok, let's see what fiend has found their way into my house, she thought as she pushed open the door and drew her knife. A shadow darted towards her making her yelp. Instantly the training flew from her mind and she began slashing wildly in front of her, eyes closed. 

“Get out of my house scoundrel!” she yelled before it dawned on her. Shadows. She stopped and opened her eyes. Shadows pooled at her feet, swirling and weaving within themselves. She looked up and saw the shadows of everything in the room lit by the fireplace wither and stretch. 

Azriel. Just as the realization hit, a small folded note appeared on the bed with shadows curling around it. In two strides she was at the bed and snatching up the note. 

El,   
My shadows have been whispering nonstop about you all day. They tell me you have been working all day around your house. They say you even chopped some wood too. I’m proud of you. Soon I won’t have an excuse to come around as often if you keep it up. They also say a storm is quickly approaching. Stay safe El, I wish to return swiftly. 

In the meantime, eat and rest. I’m no cook but… well, hopefully, you’ll enjoy the soup. A bath has also been drawn for you. 

See you soon,   
Az 

Elain smiled down at the note. Even when Azriel wasn’t here, he could make her heart stutter in her chest. She didn't even bother reprimanding herself for the fleeting thought, too tired from the days' labor and her minor fright. 

Elain made quick work of washing in the bath Azriel’s shadows had drawn. The water was a milky lavender color from all the bath salts and oils put into it. She felt her muscles relax as she sank into the tub and sighed. She still wondered how he was doing though. It was so like him to focus more on others than himself. She decided to compose the letter she would write back to him in her head as she soaked in the tub. 

Azriel, 

Thank you for the meal and the bath, it was most kind of you. Your shadows gave me quite a fright! I thought someone had broken in while I was resting on the couch. I hope you are eating well and taking care of yourself, though I fear Cassian probably ate all the lemon cakes I slipped into your pack. And yes, I have been hard at work today. Someone needed to chop the wood and it was high time I finally started assuming some real responsibility for my well being. Please return safely and swiftly, I miss our morning talks over tea.

As always,   
-Ellie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know I know I know I know, where have I been? the answer is ... busy. But hey I'm here now and I'm very proud of this part because it has a lot of inner workings for Elain. In the next part, I promise there will be some teeth rotting fluff.... I think. As always, thank you for reading and the kind comments! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all like it and if you have any tips or comments please don't be afraid to say something. I'm a new writer and still very shakey. I'm not sure how long this will be but stay tuned for updates. All characters belong to Sarah J. Maas.


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